HEART N SOUL

Lately i have just been in a state of sadness its just crazy the state of solitude... in such times finding someone to reach out to is almost nearly impossible. I knew that i was falling short but how far is the problem.. I have spent so much of my time doing thins that don't matter and in the process drifted so far away from the person who gave me all this things.

As i write this i can feel the tears forming in my eyes. the feel of regret. For some time i have been wondering why i was sad and just felt like crying.. Is it my relationship?? My friends?? My family?? What?? I always had the answer with me; i was just busy trying to get answers to questions that don't exist.

See i remember when i first was new to the faith and was eager to learn and pray and fast and could feel the presence of God i was in another world i was happy but somewhere along the line i lost everything everything that i had built.. I got lost in the maze i created left with nothing but a cold dark empty space and  when my friends asked me, "the Lords asking for you, he misses you, why are you running away from him??" My reply would  be i am not running away from him i am running towards him but deep down inside part of me told me i was running away.  I was scared that i had fallen so far... i did not know where to start pick up the pieces and start again.

Today i write, i pour my heart out in the Hope that there's someone out there who may stumble upon this, who may be in the same situation i am and is scared of starting again. Just keep going i say... if i were to do do it all again i would but i cant so now all i have to do is try harder pray harder and wait til i feel his presence again..

the hardest thing to do is live right that is for sure but i do believe that i can. I have this little faith that pushes me and tells me to wait on the Lord.. Its not going to be easy but I'm hoping it'll get better in time ...

Psalm 27:14

LILLY AMONG THORNS

Today as i walked through the streets heading home i was thinking about the things that would ruin relationships.
My love would bring up people that he doesn't get a good feel about.. At first i thought its cute his a little jealous 'awww' but later i thought about it and came to see why..

Coming out of the biblical view of the saying I'm learning or should  i say getting a different perspective of things or should i say relationships.
Here is the thing if I'm in a relationship then if I'm hanging out with the other opposite sex more often then feelings would come up and then confusion and then cheating. Sure cheating is one of the top trends and the saying that "He's probably cheating so why shouldn't you?" well whether he is or isn't i  don't want to be the same.

It came to me that; if we see the other sex as thorns and your love as a Lilly then you would see the threat that is to come and you would draw your lines. they would be like loose ends you either tie the loose ends or cut them off; or view he thorns as cracks on the wall which you either fill up or break the wall and rebuild it..
Sometimes is just hard to draw the lines but its necessary. remember when they say that there is no "ME" in a relationship but "WE"  well the truth is that relationships are about the two of you not just you so in many cases you have to do things lie cutting off loose ends.It would not be such a loss because you have your Lilly. i personally prefer to remain with my Lilly rather than the thorns...

For me I decided that i will make by man my Lilly among the thorns and not see all the others like lilies and just take each day as it is. if i get screwed over at least i have tried if i don't then it would all be worth the fight. I love him like crazy but no matter how many times i tell him he will not  believe me and this is for sure because actions speak louder than words don't just say it PROVE it..

Think about it  LILLY AMONG THORNS... You don want to get pricked and bleed, stay away from thorns. Why not avoid a problem when you see it rather than going crazy trying to fix it??

"Like a Lilly among the thorns so is my darling among the maidens"  

                                    

                                                                                                          XOXO