As i write this i can feel the tears forming in my eyes. the feel of regret. For some time i have been wondering why i was sad and just felt like crying.. Is it my relationship?? My friends?? My family?? What?? I always had the answer with me; i was just busy trying to get answers to questions that don't exist.
See i remember when i first was new to the faith and was eager to learn and pray and fast and could feel the presence of God i was in another world i was happy but somewhere along the line i lost everything everything that i had built.. I got lost in the maze i created left with nothing but a cold dark empty space and when my friends asked me, "the Lords asking for you, he misses you, why are you running away from him??" My reply would be i am not running away from him i am running towards him but deep down inside part of me told me i was running away. I was scared that i had fallen so far... i did not know where to start pick up the pieces and start again.
Today i write, i pour my heart out in the Hope that there's someone out there who may stumble upon this, who may be in the same situation i am and is scared of starting again. Just keep going i say... if i were to do do it all again i would but i cant so now all i have to do is try harder pray harder and wait til i feel his presence again..
the hardest thing to do is live right that is for sure but i do believe that i can. I have this little faith that pushes me and tells me to wait on the Lord.. Its not going to be easy but I'm hoping it'll get better in time ...
